CS LEWIS
For wherever you go, I will go:
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge,
Your people will be my people,
And, your God, my God.
Ruth 1:16
Someone once told me a few years ago that the person God puts in our lives to Marry is the one that is running the same race that were on...as you look around continually seeking new territories and relations, the person to your left or to your right climbing along side of you is the one. As a young woman who for years has dreamed big..BIGGER...and still raced along aiming high. I sometimes paid more attention to what was ahead other than where I was then. Meaning, the Man I love and loyal friend for the past 2 years Roberto Moraga was climbing along side of me the entire time and I was racing blindly. The past 2 years of my traveling back and forth to work and live among the people of Pacific Coast Nicaragua has brought about many blessings in my life. God not only blessed me with building relationships with these people and children, but he gave me the DESIRE of my heart. The DESIRE to be loved like Roberto loves me, to LOVE like I LOVE him and to be the future spouse of a man after GOD'S heart. I have learned so much of God's Grace, Provision, Discipline,LOVE, and above all else his overwhelming desire to give each one of his children the Desires of their hearts. To all of my friends and family, I would like to share this poem I wrote in 2002 as I reflected childhood memories of small seeds of Desire God had placed in my life. It also shares my need to put GOD as OUR first LOVE in OUR marriage and my thankfulness to GOD for always being FAITHFUL to his promises. Thank You.
Errors of My Youth
The errors of my youth swing back and strike a blow that transcends my thoughts into
trillions of small pieces of glass around by bare feet. I tiptoe along the particles as one after another pierces a new piece of flesh. I move forward. Stubborn redhead they always said. I'll believe what I want to believe. I can remember with vivid illusions searching, yet a young age for the heart, the heart of colors. Unlike most young girls that dream of being a princess, the ten year old mind that drove me livid, saw further than I ever wanted or needed. Why....
I crept through the moist covered grass along our fields and hid my body among the swaying blades propped with head on knees, I aimlessly picked the heads off of each blade trying to whistle like my friend Jonathan did, I couldn't, and still cant. I relaxed and hid from the rest of them waiting for the night to unfold and blanket our farm with the stars that I wanted so badly to be all the wishes waiting to unfold into my lap that I prayed for every night. I remember directly the one prayer. The prayer for the heart, the heart of colors. I liked to hide from the rest of them. Whether it was to peer and observe, or wait to be missed so that someone called out my name and came running after me. Tonight, I watched them in love, helping each other around the yard and Dad making flirtatious jesters that even made my young mind smile inside. Little notes left on her pillow, on the dash, in the kitchen always helping. Not by blood, but by Gods insight, he was what I prayed for each night under the stars. To be wanted, or more or less to be pleasing. I felt this necessity each dawn when I tiredly pulled my muckers on and strode out to the pasture to separate grain into the bins. The Nickers welcomed me and they nudged me eagerly, they needed me. Grown are my ways, but still I seem to wonder if I knew more then, than I do now. Hmm... Lately these childhood reflections are brought to me and I review each one through daily circumstances. God wants and needs us to love him more than we can ever dream of loving or of being loved. To submit oneself and all my imperfections to a man would be easy, but to a never ceasing, never abusing, never judging, forever loving God. Why wouldn't I.
We are creating this website with information to all our friends and family to accompany us for our Destination "Nicaragua" wedding.
November 28, 2009
